hating

i use the word hate on a regular basis. my mother always told me that "hate" is not a nice word. but it's true. i hate a lot of things and a lot of people. i think that's a sad thought, but it's true. there's not many people i don't hate. i think it stems from my trust issues with people. i don't trust anyone. people are just out to screw you over in some way. it has happened to me many, many times. i think i'd rather be alone than be screwed over. i have told every single one of my boyfriends at one point that i hated them, even though i'm pretty sure i didn't actually feel that way. i told my current boyfriend that i hated him a few days ago. it just so happens that i hate you are the three little words that come out of my mouth when i am enraged. biting my tongue is absolutely imposssible during a rage moment and if it isn't possible to vocalize the i hate you, it will come in the form of text message, instant message, e-mail, or voicemail. i am mad and i hate you and you WILL hear about it.