who's to blame?

i visit a lot of BPD forums and the topics i like to read the most involve BPD and relationships. a lot of the time girls tend to say "why do i treat my boyfriend so badly?" i began to think that maybe, just maybe, it is not always our fault. why does the person with BPD have to be blamed? is it not possible that sometimes the boyfriend is just a douchebag?! is it not possible that if the boyfriend is aware of the BPD he might use it to his advantage? maybe i'm just being biased because of the situation i'm in with my boyfriend at the moment, but i really think that this theory could be true. we need to stop blaming ourselves for everything. we need to stop thinking that because we have BPD, everything that goes wrong is because of the BPD. there are other factors in life. and i think we also have to realize, it is not our fault that we have BPD. and any significant other should realize that as well.