realizing BPD

i always thought of myself as living with depression and anxiety (which i do), but now after some research, i realize it's more than that. i realize that i am living with BPD. i have had anxiety since i was little and by the time i was a teenager, i was on anti-depressants, which doctors told me would curb my anxiety. although, i'm sure after talking to some therapists, they realized i was depressed as well. after taking anti-depressants and visiting a therapist regularly during my teen years, i quickly stopped all treatment after a long-term boyfriend stated that this all made me "crazy" during one of our fights, which is the last thing you want to be called by your boyfriend when you're 19. so i announced to my parents that i didn't need the treatment anymore and away i went, free from drugs and therapist visits - pretending to have not a thing wrong with me at all. over the years, the boyfriends changed and none of them ever knew any details of my "troubles". now i have a boyfriend of almost 4 years and after a couple years, he became aware that something was "off" with me. he is not sharp enough (not trying to put him down - for lack of a better description) to realize that i may have some sort of disorder, let alone BPD. however, he has told me at times that i need to talk to "someone". i kept thinking to myself "been there, done that", but i was intrigued to do a little research. i knew there had to be something more to it than just depression and anxiety, so i hit up google and did some digging. and therefore, i discovered BPD.